Like a bird on a wire
I sit above the car of my life
That vehicle that I thought was stalling
With smoke coming from the interior
Orange maintenance lights coming on
And telling me about problems
I can’t locate and didn’t know I had
Today has been one of those days
Where all I can do is look at the car
And wonder how to begin fixing something
Instead of riding in it, pretending and praying that
Nothing is actually wrong
One more mile
Just over that hill
Stalling leads to stalling
And then sitting, and smoking
But like I said, today is a different day
I look at a wrench and half think about
What I might do with it
I have no skill with awkward tools
Do you even use a wrench on a car?
I’m not about to try to fix something
The way I think someone else might try to fix it
This is my car, and though it doesn’t look like it
I made it myself
I know how it works and what it needs
If only I stop and really let myself remember
Stand still long enough to let the smoke in my mind clear
And remember that I am brave enough to open my eyes and survey the scene
That is the answer. Take it all apart.
A fender here
A light here; just smash it out since we can’t think of a faster way
That window? It’s just getting in the way.
Tail pipe, air conditioner, upholstered seats
I’m better without them
Without a battered protected case around my journey
No, I need a freer space where the breeze is not shut out
Where I can feel the ground under me like a table
Holding up a full plate of food
I want to be full of life
Not shut out like a sealed bag of hot dogs in a freezer
Let me breathe; take me out of my box and set me in the sun to dry out
This sogginess is not fitting
I am a bird, and not a
Blank faced crash-test dummy in a stalled car.
Thank you; I’m getting out.
I will walk from here.