From Nest To Flight

I am in it

This truth of mine encompasses my room like a nest

It is warm, a comfort from the heart

A reliable old song sung on many a dreary gray afternoon

Turning the dark to light and the sadness to quiet hope

And now my truth is clear and back again like a trusty robin, flying away only to return and bring me sustenance, a word of encouragement, strength, tidings of joy

And she sings little lullabies and helps me find my wings

But that was then

The robin of conscience no longer comes to my nest of hope

She knows she has taught me my wings and that I know how to use them

I have known for a long time but I keep wanting to be sung to,

To be coddled with tidbits of grace and feathers of motherly comfort

But I am being asked to fly

I know there will be more feathers to nestle my face into

More songs to carry my voice away and leave me in a lighter place

More vistas, treetops in the most magnificent places, mountain peaks,

Lonely shores, jagged rock canyons and blissful meadows alight with spring hues

And I know they are outside of this nest

It is no longer an incubator of infantile promise but a full fledged

Launch pad into the sky beyond

Let’s face it: I out grew this nest long ago

Me, the one always at the ready

Me, always taking on the next obstacle, knowing I am girded with grace,

Me, the fearless lover of mankind, the helping hand, the selfless neighbor, the grateful son and the loyal brother, the ever thoughtful friend, the artist of life, the musician of the mind, the servant of my God, the joy of the morning, the dreamer of possibility, the muse of eternity and the light of the world

All this, and I am afraid to leave this nest

This nest turned from a hopeful harbor into prison of stale anxiety long ago

I am no longer safe here; I grow root bound, tight, gnarled and stunted, trying to fit

A space that is not mine, but hopelessly I try and make it mine

It is a dying place that is killing me and yet I cling onto it with desperate familiarity

Would I rather live in this sty than soar with the remarkable grace of wings in upward winds? No

So why do I tolerate being here any longer? My core stirs with my truth’s awakening and I see the steps illuminated before me with kindness, mercy, courage, strength and rest

They beckon; my life beckons and I twitch uncertainly, unsure of how to meet it, like a child greeting a parent he hasn’t seen for years

My life is familiar, a colorful reverie of buoyant joys, selfless deeds, boundless imaginings and noble strivings; the accomplishments that can only be accomplished through grace and love, and I smile. My life beckons me; a robin alights on my shoulder, reassuring me of this next step

“It only feels like a leap, my dearest child. But I have given you strong wings, a noble heart, a kind touch and a soul wealthy with generosity. Fly, and see how free you already are.”

I breathe in, pivot and lean over the edge. I don’t close my eyes, I want to see what I have been waiting for.


One thought on “From Nest To Flight

  1. “It is a dying place that is killing me and yet I cling onto it with desperate familiarity.” That place is no place but the acceptance of what another has seen without looking yourself. Desperate familiarity is the vicious habit of taking what others say as our own. Like the nestling, we rely on a limited view of the sky and woods to tell us what we are until we learn to fly beyond the mental nest of sticks and bones.

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